More Cycling Sub-Types!
Way back on Monday, I wrote a post detailing the composition of a few major cycling subtypes.
After some reflection, however, I realized I’d completely overlooked a few important groups (see, I told you I’m a roadie).
In the interest of cycling-world unity, then, I shall now attempt to rectify my egregious oversight.
Of course, in the process, I might just make things worse.
So, without further ado…
More Cycling Sub-Types!
In our last installment, we touched on a growing Cycling Sub-Type: the Die Hard Commuter. It so happens that the Die Hard Commuter has a close cousin in the cycling world — a cousin we might call the Utility Cyclist.
The Utility Cyclist is like the Die Hard Commuter on steroids (though some of them don’t ride in bad weather). Need a refrigerator moved? Call a Utility Cyclist. Chances are they’ll have the bike and trailer to do the job.
No one can argue that Utility Cyclists don’t get things done. Heck, that’s the whole point. However, if you’re looking for a cyclist who knows how to relax, look no further — ahem, down here! — than the low-slung figure of the Recumbent Pilot.
It is possible that the Recumbent Pilot reaches his pinnacle in the figure of the Tandem Recumbent Team — a veritable phenomenon that probably requires its own essay. However, most Tandem Teams share a few characteristics: a bicycle built for two (or sometimes more than two), matching jerseys, and the ability to argue over directions as if they were riding in a car.
It’s possible, of course, that Tandem Teams never argue. It’s hard to really be all that upset when you’re on a bike — and, frankly, any time I’ve encountered a Tandem Team on a group ride, they were smugly grinning in their own repleteness. Who needs a group ride, after all, when you’ve got your group right there?
Then, who needs a group in the first place? Some of us are entirely secure in ourselves. Some of us don’t need group rides, or even two riders. Heck, some of us don’t even need two wheels.
Yes, sisters and brothers: that’s right. I invoke, then, the name of the true iconoclast of the cycling world. You may meet her on road or off, or even on stage: an obligate fixed-gear phenomenon; a master of balance and sublime concentration; utterly unscathed by the opinions of others.
We may not readily admit it, but come on: in those lonely moments surfing the web late at night, who hasn’t come across a picture of this true Lone Wolf of the cycling world and experienced a flash of envy at his freedom, his balance … his sheer elan?
You know, my friends, of whom I speak: wrapped in a cloak of her own inscrutable iconoclasm cometh…
I think that’s about all that can be said.
*Perhaps a bit ironically (given the fact that Cycling Lore causes one to expect all recumbent pilots to resemble Jerry Garcia), the sole recumbent pilot I know personally goes beardless. He knows there are many paths up the mountain, and that even if it takes ‘bents a little longer to reach the top, they will go screaming down the other side, terrifying roadies all the way.
P.S. I’m a-leavin’ … on a jet plane! …So I’m not entirely sure when I’ll make my next post. Don’t worry, though — I’m not dead, I’m just getting married.