Ballet Squid Chronicles: Ballautopilot

Today, halfway through some barre combination or another, I suddenly found myself doing something completely different.


Because the beginning of the combo was exactly like one we often do in Claire’s class, but the last third or so was different. Apparently my ballet-autopilot — ballautopilot, if you will — had kicked on. (Please tell me I’m not the only person whose ballautopilot that sometimes goes awry!)

The same thing happened again, incomprehensibly, as we were going across the floor. This was Essentials, so the allegro combo was simple: glissade-pas de chat(1), glissade-pas de chat, tombé-pas de bourree-glissade assemblé.

For some reason, my ballautopilot decided it needed to end with “glissade-sisson,” even though nothing ends like that, ever. So there’s no rational explanation for that one, except that apparently my legs like to sisson, and I was thinking about something else (specifically, my arms).

In other news, I managed another of those lovely and enjoyable double-pirouettes that happen when you get most of the way through your first rotation and then go, “Hm, I think I’ll just go on around again.” And then you do, and then you close back and look like you’re an awesome dancer when, in fact, you’re much more half-baked than usual this week because you’ve been out of class so much lately.

In still other news, this week I decided to try a fouetté en tournant, just to see if I could do it, in my kitchen (because everyone knows that the kitchen is where you practice your turns).

You guys, it turns out my kitchen is not actually big enough for that. Whipped out the leg, and WHAM! Right into the stove(2).

So I guess I won’t be practicing fouettés en tournants in my kitchen anymore. I will have to add them to the (ahem) rotation (see what I did there?!) of turns I practice before class, like the stepover-stepover-pique-pique combination from Tawnee’s class that’s one and a half piques too long for my kitchen, no matter how diagonally I travel.

In different news entirely, my husband is incredibly sweet and, as a surprise, took me to see Big Hero 6 today. It was brilliant, and if you can, you should run out right now and see it before its theatrical run closes. And if you are feeling weepy this week (which some of us do sometimes, just sayin’), I recommend that you bring a packet of tissues and a friend.


  1. I would like to point out that my glissade-pas de chat sub-combo looked stellar today, unlike my grand battement, which involved high extensions and a jiggly, jiggly, jiggly core. Must be jelly, &c.
  2. Fortunately, this was loud, but not painful in the least. I specifically planned it so I wouldn’t crack my leg on the dishwasher door, which would probably have hurt, since said dishwasher door was propped open to let the dishes cool off, with its pointy edges out and ready to rip my legs off.

About asher

Me in a nutshell: Standard uptight ballet boy. Trapeze junkie. Half-baked choreographer. Budding researcher. Transit cyclist. Terrible homemaker. Neuro-atypical. Fabulous. Married to a very patient man. Bachelor of Science in Psychology (2015). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2014/12/20, in balllet, movies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Ha! Ballautopilot, I like it! Mine goes awry at times too…

  2. The Lite Rider

    Chuckling at “nothing ends like that, ever”. And the kitchen floor absolutely was where practiced certain turns! And I hit stuff, too!

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