Ballet Squid Chronicles: Pathetic Attempts at Unitard Photos

So I bought a Eurotard unitard to go with the “Keep Calm and Rond de Jambe” shirt that Kelly gave me because I want to write a review of said uni.

Turns out is actually kind of hard to get good unitard pictures in my house, and that I’m kind of terrible at it anyway.

Take, for example, the following:


In my messy washroom. At least I had the sense to move the Catbox?

This was the best shot I got of my legs.  Probably the best shot, period, because of course it is.   Everyone loves pictures of someone else’s bathroom.

Oy vey. Love the placement of the J-trap and the, um, wild Bohemian hair moment I’m having?

So I tried again in the bedroom.  I had to place pillows in front of the bedstead so my legs were visible, since that’s kind of the whole point.


I did not actually intend this to be a picture of my lower torso.  Awkward. 

(I might be able to crop it for use in my Amazon review.   Maybe.)

So I tried a little passé.


Not my best moment.

You guys, it’s hard to passé whilst operating a phone, even by voice-command, even if you don’t take it to relèvé.  This is The.  Worst.  Passé.  (Case in point: turnout weak, working leg too low and overcrossed, and let’s not even talk about my swaybacked posture).   If I’d tried relèvé, I wouldn’t be writing this, because I would have face-planted into a mirror and died.

Also, the camera angle makes my legs look like they’re two different lengths and circumferences and stuff.   At least it’s a half-way decent picture of the unitard itself.


I figured I’d try just a plain old relaxed first position.   Chopped off my own head.   Maybe that’s for the best?

In the end, this is the only half-way decent shot I managed:


Whee.   One whole leg.

So there you have it.

Exciting pictures of my unitard.   Le sigh.

Clearly, I am going to have to get someone who knows what they’re doing to take review pictures for me.

My only consolation is that the pictures Denis took for me were even worse.   I won’t saddle you with those.

Anyway, I tried a little aerobic dance workout in these.   So far, so good.  I don’t want to take them off, because they’re so comfy, so that’s a good sign.

About asher

Me in a nutshell: Standard uptight ballet boy. Trapeze junkie. Half-baked choreographer. Budding researcher. Transit cyclist. Terrible homemaker. Neuro-atypical. Fabulous. Married to a very patient man. Bachelor of Science in Psychology (2015). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2014/12/30, in review and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: