Oh, G-d, Y’all.
In which Ballet Theater of Indiana identifies “The Nine Insufferable People You Meet Auditioning.”
Got to “the intimidation stretcher” and just about died. Yup, that’s me (though it’s usually unintentional, like, “Welp, not sure what to do with myself right now,def don’t want to make eye contact with with strangers, soooooooo… *attaches leg to head*”).
Sorry about that.
I should get back to homemakering now.
Posted on 2016/12/20, in balllet, it is a silly place, video and tagged auditions amirite, ballet for reals though, I should really get back to cleaning, other people's videos. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.
danseur ignoble 
I especially like the one who isn’t there. Just a spectral presence.
Actually I danced the role of “Unprepared One” last night with “Clueless Noob” and “Spatial Sally”; I showed up in a tearing hurry desperately scrabbling into my shoes and having to get out of a barre stretch to start the first exercise, the girl in front of me who I hadn’t seen before kept forgetting barre combinations and catching me out following her, and “Sally” whacked me about three times with grand battements. Strange to tell, last night’s “Sally” usually dances “Total Bunhead”….but then we were in a different studio and I’m normally safely out of range.
It actually went really rather well as long as I remembered to stop looking at CN’s feet on that side. Until we got into allegro and I had a turns crisis, which spoiled the following rather flashy sequence:
4th
tombé 2nd
pdb
pdb
chassé
jété, arms 4th
soutenu
tendu 4th to your left
turn edh > alternative step – HANDBASKET!! and repeat 2x
turn
turn
and then mirror it to the left so the turns go the opposite way. I was like *soars across like your original ballet prince* HANDBASKET HANDBASKET HANDBASKET *ok, try soaring if you can still keep a straight face* maybe get two out of the three turns on the good side but who cares after all those handbaskets?
Oh no ! It sounds like a lovely combination, too. It’s so frustrating when circumstances conspire to make things go off the rails like that (on the other hand, your retelling here is hilarious :D).
The horror: I ripped a nice double en dedans yesterday morning waiting for the kettle to boil. Huh, 2017 goal and it’s still 2016? I should have known.
More proof that:
turns in the kitchen > turns in the studio (or on stage, or wherevs)
Possibly also proof that ballet classes should be taught in kitchens.
Also, “TURNS CRISIS!!!” needs to be an
aboveanime series (about ballet, of course).Edited for autocorrupt.
This reminds me of Gary Lineker’s method for taking penalties in international football.
1) address the ball.
2) measure your run-up.
3) close eyes and think of your brother’s bar in Tenerife.
4) kick the ball as hard as you possibly can.
I love this method so ridiculously much.
Like so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul0kcU14iyU
Sometimes he didn’t apply the method. It didn’t work as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2-Nkc8-Kig