Dances With*out* Moobs (Eventually)

I have trouble keeping my mouth shut about Big Giant News, but I’m also apparently horribly superstitious about jinxing myself, so I apologise for my recent bout of vague hint-dropping. I promise I’m not going to turn into one of those annoying hinty bloggers who try to keep readers hooked in by being annoyingly vague about things that turn out not to be all that amazing after all 😛

Anyway, yesterday I finally (FINALLY!) went “under the knife” to shed my moobs. Last week, I was super stressed-out about the upcoming surgery—not because I was worried about the surgery itself, but because I did a bunch of research and chose a doctor in Fort Lauderdale, Florida—right in the path of Bad Girl Irma.

I called their office last week to find out if they might need to reschedule, and they said, “Nah, we should be fine,” which was both a relief and a little alarming, since I was worried about the potential for last-minute changes of plans.

Anyway, no rescheduling was needed, and I did indeed have the surgery yesterday.

Evidently, it went very well, and except for the fact that I puked a couple of times shortly after I awoke from anesthesia(1), I’m recovering really well.

  1. Not terribly surprising, as I’m pretty sensitive to sedatives in general 😛

The weirdest bits of the surgical experience were: 

  • Thinking, shortly after the anaesthesiologist added the “Momma said knock you out” drip to my IV, “Huh, I’m not falling asleep yet,” and then immediately falling asleep.
  • Going under with my underwear on; waking up without them (still not sure why they had to take them off for this, but no worries, I got them back).

The funny part was that the nursing staff couldn’t figure out how to put my undies back on 😛 Admittedly, the undies in question are a tad unusual. They’re jock-strap stylie, because I’m queer like that. You probably didn’t really need to know, but there you have it 😛

Anyway, I semi-slept all the way back to our hotel, then slept some more, woke up at 10 PM, ate some yoghurt and sourdough bread (which, it turns out, is very easy on the stomach), and promptly went back to sleep and stayed that way with brief awakenings until 6:30 AM.

I’m feeling pretty chipper today, though the post-surgical compression dressing is not very comfortable (could be worse, though).

So that’s finally done, anyway. I’ll be on full R&R for a couple of weeks, dance-wise, then slowly working back in so I’ll be in shape enough to perform in November and fully on form for audition season in January/February.

I’m looking forward to dancing without moobs, finally. It’s weird, in a way, because everyone I’ve mentioned it to has said, “Huh, I never would have known,” so obviously my compression vests have been doing their job well—but it’ll be nice to live life without the extra layer.

I have, by the way, been really pleased with my surgeon and his staff. I chose a doctor who has extensive experience working on intersex and trans guys as well as other guys with gynecomastia, and I feel like he really has it down to an art.

And, of course, being able to hang out in Fort Lauderdale for a week doesn’t hurt, either, even if I can’t go swimming (I can wade, though!).

So that’s it for now.

“Help! I’m bein’ compressed!” (With apologies to Monty Python :D)

About asher

Me in a nutshell: Standard uptight ballet boy. Trapeze junkie. Half-baked choreographer. Budding researcher. Transit cyclist. Terrible homemaker. Getting along pretty well with bipolar disorder. Fabulous. Married to a very patient man. Bachelor of Science in Psychology (2015). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2017/09/15, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. What a lack of gratitude for the gifts of the pharmaceutical industry. Thousands of people paying surgeons good money to get them put on and you go and get yours lopped off.

  2. Glad to hear the operation went well. Since one of the first posts of yours I ever read was about compression vests, I kinda thought this was what you were up to. That said, the hint-dropping was still a bit ominous!
    Bet it will be amazing to dance without anything crushing your ribcage! I wish you a speedy recovery.
    I also had quite a bit of fun imagining the doctors trying to figure out your underwear before giving up eventually. xD Kinda like these guys: https://youtu.be/KTc3PsW5ghQ (SFW)

    • Ack, I accidentally dis-approved your comment, Dorky! Sorry about that!

      I feel like I’m currently paying for the rest of my compression-vest free life in advance via the compression bandages I’ve got in right now … Holy cow, these really are crushing my ribs! :O

      … But I’m willing to cope for a child of days, since the goal is to prevent swelling, which leads to better outcomes with less scaring in the long run 🙂 Needless to say, though, I’ll appreciate my freedom once these bandages come off!

      I’m with you on imagining the doctors trying to figure out my underwear XD. I guess they don’t have time to learn about fancy underpants in medical school!

    • PS: I love the Sesame Street Martians!

  3. *couple of days, etc. Apparently my bandages are also compromising b my ability to proofread (as if I possessed any such ability in the first place!)

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