Please ignore the shoes making their break for freedom. Nothing to see here. Move along.

• You have a tumble dryer or a clothesline, but laundry day at your place looks like this anyway
• And by “laundry day,” you mean “any day that ends in -y”
• Your bedroom resembles a fire sale at a Sansha outlet 
• You have so many tights (Footed! Convertible! Capri! Short! Really effing short! Strappy!) and joggers you don’t know where to put them all, but only two pair of regular trousers
• Which you never wear because ugh
• You are more than typically grateful to the inventors of the Utilikilt
• You miss pockets, but not enough to make you wear regular clothes(1)  

1. Besides, they make hoodies with zippered pockets now. 

In case you’re wondering, when a dancer and an aerialist love each-other very much, the result is:

• A closet like the one above
• A ridiculous collection of matching tights that the dancer almost never wears because deep in his black-feathered heart of hearts Serious Ballet Boy Is Serious (…but only about ballet).