How to Get a Dancer’s Body: Two Strategies*
I: The Slow-and-Steady Approach
- If you don’t live in a locality with a good professional company, move to one
- Go to performances. Identify a dancer whose body you wouldn’t mind having.
- Find a teacher. No, not a dance teacher; that takes way too long. I’m talking about a teacher of the obscure occult arts.
- Gather such materials as you may require: the black goat, newts’ tongues, and rooster’s egg may be difficult to source in urban areas.
- Using the materials and methods already acquired, become incorporeal.
- Once you have become incorporeal, locate your chosen dancer and cause him or her to become incorporeal as well.
- Take over the body of the dancer in question.
- Congratulations! You now have a dancer’s body.
II: The “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” Approach
- Start dancing. No, seriously, right now, to any kind of music or none.
- Are you dancing? Are you in your body? Congratulations! You now have a dancer’s body!
*for best results, attempt with tongue held firmly in cheek