Full disclosure: this isn’t exactly a recipe? Because, like, it’s not that precise, really, and honestly, you could figure it out just fine without me.

But, anyway. Here it is.

Ingredients (I said it wasn’t that precise ^-^)

• Two large-ish portobello mushroom caps
• A bunch of soy sauce
• Some cooking sherry, or white wine, or vinegar, or something along those lines
• Olive oil
• Salt
• Pepper
• Shredded cheese (optional)

Directions (umm, yeah … so these aren’t gonna be precise either)

1. Rinse/wash the mushrooms as needed.
2. Stick the mushrooms gills-up in a container, ideally with a lid, that’ll let them sit side-by-side. Probably pop the stems off if you’re using them as burgers.
3. Pour in kind of a lot of soy sauce and about the same amount of cooking sherry (or whatever).
4. Put the lid on the container and shake it up to mix everything and get the sauce into the gills.
5. Stick the whole shebang into the fridge. Marinade for a couple of hours or go all out and just plain forget to cook it for a day and a half.
6. Heat up your grill pan (mediumish heat) or any pan with a heavy bottom (also mediumish heat) or your Foreman-type grill. Brush on a little olive oil. Toss in some salt and pepper, to taste.
7. Stick the marinated mushrooms in there, gills up. Cover and let cook for a bit so the mushrooms can get nice and soft.
8. Add some cheese to the inside of the cup of the mushroom if you want. Cover again so the cheese can get nice and bubbly.
9. I totally failed to time these, so just … cook for a while. I probably did mine for about 15 minutes or so, and they were nice and soft-chewy.

Serve however you like: on buns, not on buns, on toast, on tortillas, sliced over a salad … with pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, catsup, and mustard, or whatever else works for you … naked except for a single grilled cherry tomato. You do you.

I served mine on one-sided toast with a romaine leaf, pickles, mustard, and (for me) catsup.

I seriously did completely forget to cook these for at least 36 hours, and they turned out beautifully. Denis actually ate his, and there wasn’t any meat involved, like, at all (though there was cheese, and he does love cheese).

Sadly, I failed to take even one picture of any stage of this process. I guess I’ll just have to order more portobello caps with next week’s groceries so I can do that part. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team ^-^