Check Out My Fancy Hospital Pasties

I’m officially decompressing!

It turns out that what was driving me so crazy was the combination of uber-tight compression wrap and surgical drain tubing, which conspired to irritate the living daylights out of my intercostal cartilage and muscles. Those are still a bit angry, but sooooooo much better sans poky tubing and with relaxed compression.

During my surgery, I got trimmed down and liposuctioned and so forth, and now I’m all taped up and decorated with ridiculously large hospital pasties (I feel like perhaps I should decorate them?[1]) … And, yes, I still have nipples 😛

  1. Made an attempt. Didn’t bring any wide Sharpies, though. SOON.

I debated whether or not to post pictures, but I’m going to bite the bullet and do it. 

First, I’m really stoked about how clean everything looks already. My body just looks like, you know, my body. I don’t know what exactly I was expecting? But I think it involved bruises and stuff.

Second, I’m not the first guy who’s had to undertake this kind of surgery, nor will I be the last—and I was okay with it in part because I saw photos in various phases of the healing process from other guys who’d had the same thing done. Maybe mine will help someone down the line—another dancer, even—feel okay with it, too.

A note about the dancer-specific end of that: I hemmed and hawed about which surgical approach to pursue in part because of the potential for scarring and the fact that, as a male dancer, I’ll have more options if I feel like I can take roles that require me to dance shirtless [2]. 

  1. Like, for example, I’ll be able to work in modern dance, which is apparently code for “Topless Boys Live!”, ever at all

Ultimately, I opted for an approach that would leave longer scars, but in more discreet places, and would be a sure shot in terms of removing extra skin in awkward spots. Having seen myself this afternoon with no shirt and no medical pasties, I know I made the right decision.

Speaking of that, I got to see myself sans Hospital Pasties this afternoon, and I’m quite happy with the results—though as a good citizen of the internet I’m kicking myself for failing to grab a photo. 

Anyway, I had a bunch of extra skin before (thanks, collagen disorder!), but you’d never know at this point. Also, I appear to have normal tactile sensation everywhere, which is great. It wasn’t terribly likely in my case, but I was a little worried about ending up with tactile “dead zones” that could be awkward for some kinds off partnering.

There will be narrow scars below my pecs extending from about 4 cm to either side of the center of my chest (looks closer to the center in the shot below due to tape and guidelines) to a point straight down from my armpits. They probably won’t be very visible. The upside of the collagen thing is that I tend towards hypotrophic scarring, which in turn tends not to stand out too much against my ultra-pasty pallor.

Me in my super-sexy hospital pasties.

How do you like these gigantic pasties? You can also still see some of the guidelines my surgeon drew before surgery 😛

I’ve also got extra gauzy stuff and even moar tape going on under my arms where my drains came out today. Those will be there for about a week. (You guys, I really should’ve purchased stock in 3M’s medical supply division.)

I have some sutures in my aureolae, so I’m supposed to wear some kind of medical pasties for a couple of weeks whilst those heal up, but my surgeon suggests the big, square band-aids with adhesive all the way around. There’s no need for them to be huge like the current ones; 4×4 gauze just happens to be ubiquitous in US medical practices.

I feel like I should thank my ballet and aerials teachers for making my surgeon’s job and my life easier. He had zero trouble locating the margins of my pecs, and my blood supply and overall fitness are basically stellar, which made everything smoother and easier in every way.

That’s it for now. We’re heading home tomorrow, so I might even make it back in time to stand around idly at rehearsal on Wednesday, learning by osmosis.

PS: I am greatly enjoying wearing just one shirt at a time. I cannot explain how amazing that feels.

PPS: Still heckin’ itchy, though, because omg so much tape. At least the stuff under my pecs will fall off on its own in about a week.

About asher

Me in a nutshell: Standard uptight ballet boy. Trapeze junkie. Half-baked choreographer. Budding researcher. Transit cyclist. Terrible homemaker. Getting along pretty well with bipolar disorder. Fabulous. Married to a very patient man. Bachelor of Science in Psychology (2015). Proto-foodie, but lazy about it. Cat owner ... or, should I say, cat own-ee? ... dog lover. Equestrian.

Posted on 2017/09/18, in adulting, adventures, dances with moobs, healing, health, life, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Hi,

    I hope it heals fast! I personally know many boys who’ve done exactly this surgery. It takes it time until the body recovers totally, but take yourself this time.

    But there’s another kind of man with this operation: These muscle guys in the gyms who’ve taken too long too much of these “Get big muscle fast” powders and pills… they come sometimes with size D to the doctor…

    You’ve made my day with modern dance “Topless boys live” – it’s additional a “topless boys with sixpacks live”. I think at least 20% of the theater crowd in the shows is gay… and the rest women… a few roped in husbands…

    One of these boys now gives contemporary at a studio where I go… changing schedule 😉 .

    • Don’t forget the other attribute universal to dancers—”Topless Boys with Sixpacks and Great Butts Live” 😀

      Whenever I wander out into the world of normal people who don’t spend all their time dancing, it amazes me A) how many people basically have no glutes and B) how many guys there are who work out but don’t seem to know that “leg day” and “butt day” exist :O

      Of course, when you dance, every day is leg day. And butt day.

      Excellent point about muscle guys. The human body is a strange place—evidently, excess free testosterone is converted into estrogen, which means that guys who use anabolic steroids to gain muscle pretty much guarantee themselves a case of gynecomastia if they stick with it long enough o.O

      Seems a bit counter-productive if your goal is to look as manly as possible? The weird part of that I think they all feel like it won’t happen to them because they’re so masculine, but the higher your natural testosterone levels, the more it stands to reason that you’re going to wind up with a circulating excess if you add more. Et voilà—les moobs! Eek.

      I think I’ll heal pretty quickly, but you’re right—I’m going to make myself take it easy.

      The only thing I’m at all worried about is that I’m not supposed to put my arms above my head yet—which is easy enough when I’m awake, but I tend to sleep with my arms stretched out over my head. I’m making myself sleep propped up on a bunch of pillows to make it harder to do that, but I still woke up this morning with my hands tucked behind my head and my elbows at ear-level. I hope that’s not too high!

  2. Hooray for decompression and hooray for hypotrophic scarring! I just get ultra-red keloids, which fade to ultra-white keloids within ten or so years. Not exactly ideal…

    • Oh, wow! That’s rough. I feel pretty lucky that I’m not prone to keloids. I’ve known a few people for whom that’s the order of things, and keloids seem to be more problematic. I don’t know if they’re are any major drawbacks to hypotrophic scars, but I haven’t had any issues with mine thus far.

  3. I’m not aware of any issues there, either. I think you’ll be fine. The fact that the scars will be symmetrical is bount to count for something, too.

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