Category Archives: modern

A Singularly Awesome Day; Also, Have Some Improv

Today, a small group of us got to do an exclusive trapeze performance for a group of people who are way under-served in our community. It was fantastic to be able to take our show to them — they had a great time, and so did we.

Back at home, I managed to get some laundry done, then trundled off to the studio for Denis’ trapeze class and our mutual flexibility/mobility (which I definitely needed; in retrospect, I should definitely have brought the foam roller last week!) and acro-balancing 2 classes.

Suspend usually has good music playing, and I am unable to resist the urge to dance, so eventually I relocated myself to our dance corner. The dance floor is slightly sprung, but it’s still better than the concrete corner where I had initially been trying to convince myself that even itty, bitty jumps were a bad idea.

The meditation/yoga hammocks were still hanging down, and while mucking about on the dance floor, I happened upon the idea of leaping from one open space to another, skimming between visible and invisible zones.

I wound up playing around with the idea and eventually wound up recording a few minutes of the little improv that came out of it.

To be sure, there are definitely some complete WTF moments — like, at one point I wind up on the ground and decide that I should fold myself in half.

What am I thinking in that moment?

Who knows?

I sure as heck couldn’t tell you. At one point, you can clearly tell by the look on my face that I’ve realized I’m doing something that doesn’t really make any sense, and that I have no idea what I should do to fix it.

There are also some moments I really like; ideas that I plan to work on — a bunch of nifty développes, some interesting turns that kind of fold in on themselves; a sequence of pas de chats, another of glissades.

I wasn’t paying any real attention to technique (in case you’re curious, this is more or less what I look like when I go out clubbing, heh); instead, I was making up little rules in my head and seeing what happened when I attempted to follow them — but I think with some attention to technique, something could be made of them. I think next time I’m going to try alternating between the two methods of travel; in this space, that could be pretty interesting visually.

I didn’t notice until I had watched this a couple times that there’s also kind of a motif that occurs near both the beginning and the end (totally not planned; the end of the video is the point at which I realized I had like 2 minutes before my class started)There’s also a brief conversation with Aerial M, asked if I wanted the hammocks put up (when I said I was using them, she actually said, “Cool!” but you can’t really hear that bit).

There are also several moments in which I want to strangle myself for doing the weird things that I so frequently do with my arms, though in a way seeing them in video is helpful, because I don’t usually realize that I’m doing them (the downside of hypermobility: sometimes, you really have no idea where your body parts are).

Watching video of myself dancing, I’m always like, “Wait, why are you dropping your arms there? Why did you just — no! PUT THEM BACK, THEY SHOULD GO AROUND THE OTHER WAY, YOU MORON, DON’T—” and then I realize that yelling at a video of yourself is even dumber, somehow, than yelling at the TV.

Anyway, here, have this little video of me playing around in warm-ups and leg-warmers as a sort of aperitif, and I’ll work on making a better recording of Albrecht’s variation. I think we’re going to try to get the new balancé video done this Friday or next Wednesday, schedules (and weather; we’re crazy, so we’re planning on recording it outdoors!) being what they are.

Edit: PS, I know that a bunch of times, it sounds like I’m hitting the floor really, really hard — that’s an artifact of the way my phone records sound and possibly of the floor itself.

PPS: I have absolutely no idea which song is playing.

How to Survive Your Dance Intensive for Grown-A** Adults (Version 1)

Now that I’ve got a whopping two (2!! Like the number of exclamation points I just used!!) adult dance intensives under my belt, I have lots of facts intel opinions about things you should do to make sure you get through in one piece — and, of course, as your faithful Danseur Ignoble, I am duty bound to share them.

You know, for the good of humankind, or at least dancer-kind, and all that stuff.

So, without further ado, here they are.

~

First, know that you’re capable of more than you think you are.

Let me say that again, with fancy formatting:

You are capable of more than you think you are.

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Improve Your Ballet: Take Modern

Today, I had a lot of opportunity to think about how taking modern has improved my ballet.

Specifically, B and I were working on a basic partnering exercise in which the girl (or boy, or otherly-gendered individual; doesn’t matter — I’m devolving upon the conventions of the genre, but that doesn’t mean I think that’s the only valid approach; not by a long shot) rises up to sous-sus en pointe and the boy (see above) gently tilts her to the front, the right, and the left*.

*I actually tend to do front – right – front – left (avant – a droigt – avant – a gauche) thus far. This gives B a chance to re-center herself between tilts, since she’s still working on keeping her core engaged.

The whole purpose of this exercise is to establish some of the key underpinnings of the partnering relationship: first, trust (as in, “Don’t worry, I won’t drop you!”); second, core engagement.

It turns out that, in partnering work, it is immensely important that both partners keep their cores together**.

If the girl lets her core go, she makes the boy’s job a bazillion times harder (seriously, you try partnering an uncooperative dolphin some time).

If the boy lets his core go, he is liable to fall over (ask me how I know) and that can lead to the ultimate sin in partnering, which is dropping your partner. Also possibly falling on her, which is probably a good way to get asked not to return to the studio, heh.

**Imagine that, right?!

Fortunately, I am still 0/whatever in that department. I have yet to drop anybody.

So what, you might be wondering, does this have to do with how modern dance can improve your ballet***?

***A reasonable question, all things considered.

Well, it turns out that nothing, bar nothing, is as good at teaching you to find and engage your core muscles as good ol’ modern dance.

Why? Because contractions (also because successive movement, and all of that rolling-around-on-the-floor that doesn’t seem to make much sense until you start doing modern, and then you’re always like OMG LET’S ROLL ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!, because it’s actually kind of awesome … and, I suppose, while we’re at it, also good for learning to engage you core).

Basically, a solid head-tail contraction doesn’t just make you really great at being the letter “C” in every Human Alphabet photo ever. It also illuminates the secret workings of all those muscles in your core that you already thought you were using correctly, but weren’t (at least, that’s what happened for me).

In partnering work, that’s like magic.

Also tends to be good for the turns. And the balances.

Which brings me to the other thing we did about a million times a day in Cinci: you get into a relevé (or élevé) balance in first, second, fourth, sous-sus, whatevs, bring your arms to third/fifth (seriously, I’m just going to start calling this “thirty-fifth” … or I could just say “en haut,” but what fun would that be?^****). Get your core together; then notice how your scapulae are just, like, hanging from your arms.

****Plus, that would violate a centuries-long tradition of obfuscation. Ballet has been trolling n00bs some n00bs were, erm, n00.

And then DROP THEM.

Your arms, that is.

Just, boom. From 0 to “Spaghetti arms!” in .6 seconds.

You will immediately know if your core is together, because if it’s not, dropping your arms will knock you off your leg(s), and you will bourée like a corps dancer in Swan Lake who has suddenly been struck with choreographic amnesia and can’t do anything but desperately try to stay in line. (I bet that, in their mind’s ears, my ballet peeps are all totally hearing the sound of pointes desperately bourée-ing right now. Dog knows I am.)

This exercise is immensely useful and works in both turnout and parallel. It has, in fact, done more for freeing my arms, neck, and head in balances that any number of repetitions of “Sous-sus, arms float to thirty-fifth, change focus stage right, change focus stage left, focus center, détourné.” (Though that’s still a great exercise, and is useful for improving your spot.)

I worked in a few of these exercises today, and by then end of our brief practice session, B was able to keep her core sufficiently engaged to take a low à la seconde balance to each side.

I, meanwhile, was busy working on figuring out how much to engage at what point in order to counter-balance without appearing to do anything other that standing there and looking princely. I managed the counter-balancing part well enough, but I suspect that I liked more constipated than princely.

Alas, for my “thinking face” is far from regal.

So I’ll work on that.

Anyway, it’s now waaaaaay past my bedtime, so I’m going to close here. I’ll add these exercises to the list of videos I’ll probably remember to make someday. I think I’m also going to re-do my balancé video in some place with decent lighting, no carpet, and fewer helpful cats (but mostly because my balancé looks soooooooo much better than it did back in whenever that was).

Good night, everybody, and try not to drop your partners.

Ha.

I just realized that I’m in one of the pictures on Moving Collective’s Classes page.

There I am, right in the middle, in grey. You can tell it’s me because A) I look about 12 and B) my arms are (predictably) doing something weird. I remember that day; I brought a friend who doesn’t do modern, and was consequently nervous and having a rough go of it. I think I might actually have been in the process of knocking myself over, heh.

(The other two pix are presumably from the Friday class that I don’t currently attend, since I don’t recognize most of the people in them. There’s another guy! Yay!)

Audition Registration Taimz

So I’m filling out an audition registration packet for a local company that I know and respect, the AD of which I know and respect.

This is way more intimidating than filling out a registration for some audition for a company where I don’t know anyone personally; where nobody’s going to call me and go, “Asher, what the heck are you thinking? You are definitely not ready for this.”

Um, not that that’s going to happen here, either.

But that’s where the whole Impostor Syndrome thing takes me, apparently, in this particular circumstance.

Interesting.

Thinking About Teaching, Dancing, and Being Good Enough

Back in January of 2015, I discovered that I love teaching neuroscience-y stuff (which probably shouldn’t have surprised me, since I am both a gigantic know-it-all and the kind of person who delights in watching other people make discoveries).

Unsurprisingly, this year, I’ve discovered that my fondness for teaching transfers really well to teaching dancers.

Full disclosure: where teaching dance is concerned, I literally have the worst case of impostor syndrome I’ve ever had. I’m totally like, “How are they allowing me to do this?! I could completely ruin this whole class with my generalized incompetence AT ANY SECOND!”

It’s significantly worse than the voice in my head that shouted, NO YOU CAN’T, DON’T AGREE, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! every time I was offered some exposed or otherwise significant piece of choreography in rep class in Cinci. (Which, btw: I screwed up some stage business — returned to my starting place at one point when I should’ve gone to a different place — but I reminded myself that the audience has no idea it’s not supposed to look like this and it shook out just fine. So there you go.)

What I’m learning, though, is that I have good ideas, sometimes, and that Aerial A and I teach synergistically. My ideas and hers work really well together.

I’ve also learned that, while it can still be hard for me to articulate things verbally, I’m really solid with the physical corrections — those moments in which you actually grab someone’s leg and sort of show it what to do, or (as Claire once so usefully did to me) tap something and say, “Lift this.”

I will totally feel like I seriously have no business being up here, but I’m also learning that a lot of people feel that way a lot of the time. I’m learning to overcome that feeling: maybe not to make it go away, but to more or less thumb my nose at it. I remind myself that Aerial A is particular about her teaching staff and that our dancers are coming along so unbelievably well.

In short, it looks like I am, in fact, good enough — though maybe not in the way my brain means when it thinks, “But I’m nowhere near good enough!”

I’m not perfect. I’m new. I’m inexperienced. I’m learning.

But I’m serviceable. I get the job done. I’m, you know, good enough. Maybe not The. BEST. Teacher! — but still a teacher with some value.

Nobody ever knows everything (not even insufferable know-it-alls) and everybody has to start somewhere.

I’m trying to keep this thought before me as a dancer, as well: in a field where basically every working second is more or less a potential audition, there’s really nowhere to hide. People judge my ability based on what they see, not based on the things I say about myself or the things I think about myself. When people ask me to dance for them, then, the part of my brain that thinks, “She had no idea how awful I really am at this,” is wrong. People who have seen me dance can probably judge my strengths and weaknesses better than I can.

It’s up to them to decide whether, for their purposes, I’m good enough.

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if that means “good enough” as in “This guy is clearly to compete in the highest echelons” (hint: I’m not!) or, “Eh, he’ll do all right.”

Good enough is good enough if it gets you in the door.

You Might Be A Dancer If… #001

You might be a dancer if you go to look for a picture of yourself in “professional attire,” and realize that essentialy every picture taken of you in the past year is more or less you in elaborate underwear.

Edit: PS – I’m #NotDeadYet but I’m completely swamped right now. Bleh.

So festivities. Much schedule. Wow.

I Survived Mam-Luft & Co’s Summer Intensive…

…And it was basically one of the best weeks of my life, even though I felt all shy and weird and awkward at first.

I even took notes (and occasionally remembered to apply them in class) … though they’re still in the car right now, because yesterday I had an epic (and completely unnecessary) meltdown on the way home from Cinci and then did a cube workshop (pictures to follow). Needless to say, I was kind of tired when I got home.

Some quick highlights:

The masterclass series. I keep finding myself being like, “Jeanne’s masterclass was THE BEST!” or “Demetrius Tabron’s masterclass was THE BEST!” or “Gina Walther’s masterclass was THE BEST!”

In fact they were all THE BEST! for entirely different reasons — and that, my friends, is how a masterclass series should work.

Every master teacher reinforced concepts we worked on with the others, but every one also brought unique insights. In short, Mam-Luft & Co knows how to assemble a masterclass series.

Remembering the choreography (or not). For basically the whole week, I thought I was the only person in the entire class who didn’t have the choreography 100% down in rep. I was wrong. Almost everybody was missing bits here and there, it just took me ’til Friday, right before the final showing, to figure that out because I was too busy being anxious about not having it down (and about that whole eldritch god thing; see below).

Partnering. I freaking love partnering, y’all. I think I already said that, though. Partnering class was the first one in which I felt really confident; that transferred to the parts of rep where we lifted people.

There was one part of the choreography in which we collectively lifted G into a high side-plank lift, and then, as everyone else stepped away, I wrapped my arms around her and lowered her slowly to the floor. The moment when our instructor Susan said, “It’s okay, guys, he’s got this,” was literally one of the best moments of my life.

You guys, there was a time not all that long ago when I figured I would always kind of suck at partnering because, frankly, upper-body strength has never been my strong suit. Turns out that has changed considerably. It is good to feel capable, and it is amazingly good to feel capable of adapting myself to meet a goal.

Wednesday. Basically, all of Wednesday was pretty awesome for me.  That was the day when I started being less terrified that my fellow students were, like, going to sacrifice me to an eldritch god or something. (Seriously, WTF is wrong with me?) Perhaps unsurprisingly, it was also the day that my brain went, “Oh, wait, this is dance, we can do this.”

Ir probably helped that ballet went well (Triple turns on demand! Like it was no big deal! …Which was totally not the case on Friday, btw, but that basically owes to a nasty blister* in a horrible spot which consequently made me super-stiff — I was constantly afraid I’d rip my foot open and render myself unable to dance).

Cheetah eyes.” At lunch on Thursday, one of the other students mentioned that one of her teachers once said something like, “If you were a cheetah, your spine would enter your skull in a different place, and your eyes would be in a different spot in your skull. Imagine you’re a cheetah, and imagine where your eyes would be. Now go back to being a human and use your cheetah eyes (as well as your human eyes, obvs).” No an exact quote, but I hope you get the gist. Holy crap, did this ever fix the frack out of my alignment.

Release technique stuff. We do a lot of this in Modern T’s class, and bits of it had clicked here and there — but I discovered in Cinci that I actually really love it when I get out of my own way. In Leslie Dworkin’s masterclass, especially, I was able to briefly stop being an incredibly shy, uptight ballet nerd and just really use my whole body.

Repertory class. I started out feeling downright timid about this class, and it ended up being a highlight (and a bit of a crucible, I think).

I walked in afraid that I would literally never nail down the choreography; that I’d be so freaking bad at it that they’d ask me not to dance in the showing.

By the end, I felt like I knew enough to try to start making something out of some of it (though I still forgot to add the whole performative element to one of my parts, feh). Not that I didn’t make some mistakes during the showing (the most glaring one being the part where I wound up on the wrong leg in a static pose).

Also, we all kind of bonded over the lift-y parts and turned into a cohesive group. That was just plain cool.

Perhaps the most important thing I learned is that I automatically adjust my game to the level of expectation — when, for example, our ballet instructor called for triple turns in a combination on Wednesday, a small part of me went, “I don’t know if I can do that,” but a bigger part went, “Welp, better crank out some triples.” So I did.

This didn’t happen every time, but on average, when I got the hell out of my own way, things went better than I expected them to. When I got all tense and weird, things did not go so well.

I need to learn to hang onto my confidence in the things I do well and not freak out about other stuff.

I’ll try to post my more detailed notes later. Suffice it to say that I had a blast, learned a great deal, and will definitely be going back next year.

*nasty blister picture below the cut, because seriously, if you want to know what happens when you start to get a tiny blister right on the ball of your foot and then don’t think to tape it, this is what happens

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Modern (Intensive) Monday

In Brief

Busses Ridden: 1

Classes Attended: 5
Ratio of Girls to Boys: Something like 29/me*
—*Apparently, yes, there is a point at which being Only Guy feels kinda weird

Favorite Class: Partnering & Weight Share
—Girls Dropped: 0 (Yay!)
—Girls Stepped On: 1 (Sorry about that!)

Most Awkward Moment:
That time in Rep when I basically had no freaking idea what the middle of the dance was. Herp de derp.

Second Most Awkward Moment:
That time in ballet when the lining of my left shoe was like, “Screw you, I’m done,” and I finally just peeled it out and chucked it between barre exercises.
—Two unexpectedly-long balances kinda made up for it, though.

Friction Burns Acquired: 2
Muscles Used: So, so many. Basically all of them.
Giant sandwiches consumed: 2
Tireds Acquired: All The Tireds

So far, I’m really enjoying this. Can’t wait to go back and suck less at rep tomorrow.

G’night, errbody.

PS: We did barrel turns. Huzzah!

Modern Monday, T… I Got Nothin’ For Tuesday

Yesterday (Monday) began not-so-well and ended brilliantly.

Modern class was, on average, more or less a wash. I had trouble waking up, and while my floorwork was good, I simply couldn’t remember much of the across-the-floor sequence.

I suspect some of that was sleep- and medication-related. I have been having trouble sleeping for …  well, for reasons that I hope are sorted now via some very blunt communication with our housemate (in summary, “Yes, I sleep that lightly; no, I cannot afford to stay up later at weekends, so Quiet Hours After 10 PM really, really means just that, or I will eat your face, kthxbai). My circadian rhythm had crept back to its natural 2-or-3-AM-is-bedtime pattern, so I finally just knocked back an Ambient on Sunday night.

I got some much-needed sleep, but I don’t think my brain was 100% online until after lunch.

That said, a post-lunch choreography session went really well (once I wrestled technology to the ground, anyway) and produced some useful material — and the extra edition of Killer Class (Mme B subbed for M BeastMode) went brilliantly.

First of all, I did all the freaking turns the right freaking way. There were no backwards turns. There were no just l-plain-failed-to-turns.

I was not channeling Derek. Zoolander.

image

Don't be this guy. (Shamelessly stolen via teh Googs.)

Second, I adaged like a boss.

I was pleased with that, because the strength of my legs is uneven at the moment (though improving every day), which mostly translates to left-supporting-leg balances being wobbly. (Y’all, it is so frustrating to pull off a really long attitude balance on the right, then barely manage one at all on the left because your hip is all loosy-goosy).

Third, I did do part of the petit allegro incorrectly on the last repeat, but only because my brain skipped over the easy part in order to get to the less-easy part.

Also, my left split is back, now that my sacrum is no longer jammed on the opposite side.

Even better, after nearly four hours of dancing, I felt sufficiently tired to sleep without pharmaceutical guidance.

Today, I played on the lyra and got stuck in the silks in Mixed Apparatus Lunch Meeting Class. The silks thing was kind of hilarious. We were practicing figure-8 foot locks one at a time up the fabrics, and (because my legs are super-strong and flexible because ballet) I climbed right up to the ceiling … Where I proceeded, somehow to get my left foot tangled while stepping out of a foot-lock.

At ground level, this is merely embarrassing. You hop around on the free foot as you extract yourself.

Fifteen feet in the air, it’s a little more complicated.

I should simply have put my right for into a foot-lock, but by the time I realized that, I’d been desperately hanging there, alternating between single short-arm hangs, until I’d already exhausted my arms. I was, at that point, freaking out not about the prospect of falling, but about the prospect of being caught by that one tangled foot and breaking or straining something.

My brain was like, “NONONO, WE NEED ALL OUR FEET FOR DANCING.”

So instead I called to Denis for help, and he reached way up and flapped the tail of the silk around until we managed to free my foot.

Silks, you guys. Sometimes, the struggle is really real.

Incidentally, I now enjoy a much healthier sense of empathy towards fishing-industry by-catch.

This miniature disaster was mitigated by a very enjoyable Flexibility & Mobility class tonight — it turned into the equivalent of a knitters’ Stitch-n-Bitch (complete with off-color jokes) as we foam-rolled ourselves into oblivion.

After, in open fly, Denis & I worked on the timings for our performance and ran through the piece several times. I ran mine on both sides, just because — it works well either way, so I can adjust as needed according to how the apparati are set up.

I’m still just really excited about the fact that I can make it through several successive runs of my trapeze routine in a row, even with the timing changes that force me to hold gravity-defying positions for ages.

I’m also happy that I feel confident running my routine on the second-highest of our traps (the ropes on the highest one are too short for the iron cross segment).

FWIW, I’ve now practiced this piece, or sequences from this piece, on four of the five trapezes that are most often rigged in our studio. Woot.

Tomorrow, it’s my usual Killer Class, so I hope the fact that I took my Ambien early will help reduce the duration of the “hangover” effect. Then I’ll be working around the house until it’s time to go to Trapeze class.

Speaking of Ambien, mine has decided that I will sleep now — so I’ll close this here.