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A Thing I’m Slowly Figuring Out

I tend to try maintain an aura of ebullient optimism.

I’m aware that I lead a relatively charmed life, in which I’m permitted by circumstance to pursue a fairly impractical set of goals, and to mention that I still struggle seems a bit like spitting right into the face of good fortune.

But I do still struggle, and I’m beginning to understand something, which is this: living a life in which I’m not forced to do work that grinds my soul to powder, in which the work I do is work that I enjoy, doesn’t alter the fact that my mental health is a little fragile and that history and genetics have conspired to place me on a narrow bridge that spans a yawning chasm.

Rather, the life I’m living acts as a kind of safety harness, so that when–not if–I go plummeting off my bridge, I can eventually climb back up, or at any rate be hauled back up by people who love me.

I am capable of periods of immense creative productivity, but they’re interspersed with periods in which merely surviving is still all I can do. Those periods of mere survival are made easier to bear by the knowledge that I won’t have to return, as soon as I’m barely able, to work that will inevitably accelerate the arrival of the next plunge off the bridge.

Because D carries the vast majority of the weight of the financial responsibility of keeping us afloat, I’m able to get up and walk along my bridge for long periods, when in the past I rarely made it beyond the clinging-and-crawling-along-the-edges phase before I slipped again.

I don’t make much money doing what I do, but I usually have enough energy left over to keep our house comfortable to live in and to cook good food.


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Know Your Ballet Classes (#TrueStory)

If you’re planning to visit a new studio (say, in another city, like Chicago) and you want to be sure you can identify appropriate classes at a glance, here’s a quick visual guide:


Brought to you by Wednesday class (nominally intermediate, but it’s wink-wink-nudge-nudge intermediate) and Saturday class. Also, if you’re crammed together this tightly on the barre, that might be a problem.

You’re welcome.

In other news, I am about to be inundated with PLX website updatery, so here are all my “before” pictures for our Back Flexibility Challenge at Suspend. Sure, I could put them in a separate post, but this was the lazier more efficient way!

You guys, I am not going to win this one, I promise. It isn’t about how flexible you are, it’s about how much improvement you make, which is exactly as it should be. There are several people who are less flexible than I am by nature, but who have a lot more ground to gain than I do.

Also, my camel and king pigeon look terrible because I had no idea how to do them 😛 On the other hand, that gives me a goal, amirite?


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